REVIEW: The Avengers

 There are small spoilers in this review. It was my #7 most anticipated film of the year.

PLOT: Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. brings together a team of super humans to form The Avengers to help save the Earth from Loki and his army.


THE GOOD: Scale. A project like The Avengers is unprecedented. To bring six big superheroes together in one film after years of single movies and marketing is pretty much the first of its kind. The only comparison I can make is The Expendables, which brings together every major action star we've known since the '80s. The Avengers is like that, but with Marvel characters. But there was no purpose for Expendables. Sly wasn't sitting around 25 years ago going, "I want to make a bunch of action movies with action stars that leads up to one giant ensemble action movie." There was purpose behind The Avengers. Marvel knew that everything was coming down to this. And it paid off. Just this past weekend, The Avengers past the $1 billion mark worldwide. It shattered the opening weekend box office record with $207.4 million and continues to break other records like best single days and second weekends. They've already announced a sequel, but if they hadn't, I would have no doubt that they would.

This is where Captain America should have said, "Prepare to feel the wrath of the League of the Evil Ex-... I mean The Avengers!"

Fan service. For all of my complaints about the movie, and you're going to read them soon, I have to say that I enjoyed a lot of the fan service elements to the movie. There are some small spoilers ahead for what you will see in the film, but I will not give away any plot details. I particularly enjoyed seeing Iron Man's lasers reflecting off of Captain America's shield, The Hulk stopping the first giant flying arthropod creature, The Hulk punching Thor after taking another one down, the Thor vs. Iron Man fight, and the Hulk vs. Loki fight.

Long shot. There is one long shot during the film's climactic battle scene. It's not an incredibly long shot, or a real one for that matter, but it's enough to merit mention that I thought it was just fun. You'll know it when you see it.

THE BAD: Story. The Avengers is Joss Whedon's worst movie, and therefore really his only bad one. This movie doesn't feel like him at all. There's little creativity, originality, and awesome dialogue. What Whedon has been great at in the past is creating or taking characters, and humanizing them in a way that makes us really care for them. The only character he seemed able to do this with was Agent Coulson. I understand that most of the superheroes have their own films to fill the background in on, but I still need to be concerned for them. During the final battle sequence, I wasn't worried that someone was going to die because I didn't care. Flip the coin over and look at Serenity where each death was more devastating than the next. Granted, Whedon had control over those characters for 14 hour long episode prior to the movie, but still, we've seen that he's very capable in doing this in tiny amounts of time with Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I think my lack of interest in the story and the characters also has to do with a weak antagonist and plot device. Loki is not scary. I'm sorry. I wasn't scared of him in Thor, and while I might have been slightly more afraid of him in The Avengers, there still isn't anything absolutely terrifying about him. The only reason he was a bit more powerful was because of a dumb glowing staff that, heck, any villain could have obtained and used, and was a device that we didn't really understand because we weren't told anything about it. As for the AllSpark, excuse me, I mean the Tesseract, why did I need to give a damn about it? Oh, because it opened up a portal to a space army? Big whoop. The Decepticons tried to do the same exact thing in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. And both films have an equally intense third act. Look, I get that these devices can mean the end of Earth and that's bad, but make it worse. Make it feel hopeless. Make me feel futile. Just freakin' make me feel something! It will make all those good parts worth even more.

Unoriginal. I shouldn't be able to compare this movie to Transformers. It's a true shame, but I felt like that's what I was watching. A bunch of flashy characters on screen, with just about as much charisma, fighting an enemy that I did not feel threatened by, with flashy effects and some small fan service. I wanted Joss Whedon to do something different like he usually does. To take something that has been so worn out and tired, and breathe some life into it. Make it feel new, original, and fresh. Do what Chris Nolan did to Batman. Please! Do it in your own Whedon way, but please change it up! All this being said, I was one of the fans that supported this film going to Whedon. There are few others who could have done a better job with this franchise and meeting the expectations of the masses, I admit that much. I guess I just expected him to be as good or better than them. To come out with a movie that would define a true ensemble superhero film. I can't say that this is it.

I did find it odd in this scene where Goldilocks and the Cap'n decide to just destroy some cars. Come on, guys. Those peoples' car insurance rates are going to go way up.

Score. Tied with X-Men: First Class for the worst superhero score I have ever heard. It is so incredibly drab and by-the-numbers. I should be humming that song when I leave the theatre and all I could fathom was utter disappointment. I can hear just five notes of the Superman theme and I immediately know what it is. I bet if I played this theme, X-Men: First Class', and oh, Thor's, you wouldn't be able to discern any of them. It's not like Alan Silvestri hasn't made anything memorable before. The man has literally created some of my favorite movie pieces of all-time. Back to the Future, Forrest Gump, The Polar Express all have a score that I can never forget. Just as Whedon had the opportunity to bring these characters together, Silvestri had the opportunity to mold the mood and the tones of the five prequel films to this and create a gigantic score that would pound through your ears and take you back to this film every time you heard it. It's another opportunity missed.

Chaos cinema. Oh yes, it's here. I will say that Whedon doesn't do it the whole time, but you will see tons of half-second cuts during the action sequences that just had me fuming. Seriously, back the camera away and show me something for longer than a few seconds. Like that long shot... fantastic! Do more of that. Doesn't need to be extended scenes, but at least let me be able to see what is going on.


THE END: Look, I wanted to love The Avengers. I'm a big fan of Whedon and I've seen all the Marvel movies leading up to this one. However, the movie just doesn't bring anything new to the table. Sure, there are some fun moments and I bet that's what really does it for a lot of the fans of this film, but to me, it's just another generic superhero movie. It doesn't surprise me that the film is breaking records and making a butt-load of cash when you look at some of the other films that top that list like Avatar and Transformers. To me, The Avengers falls right in line with those films as films that are enjoyable, but overhyped, overwatched, and overall, mediocre. If mediocrity is what we ask of from Hollywood, you can be sure that we'll see more worse and lazy motion pictures to come. You don't need to be beating the crowds to see this one. Wait... as long as you can.


DISCUSS: What did you think of The Avengers? Have you seen all the previous Marvel films? Who was your favorite character? Who would you like to see in the next film? What is your favorite Joss Whedon work? What did you not like about the film?

Loki has one thing in common with my two-week old daughter: They both smile when they pass gas.