Ask Cam the IT Guy - Sarah Edition

I work in IT support and enjoy surfing the 'Computer & Internet' section of Yahoo! Answers every once in awhile and fielding some questions. But this time, I want to do something different and special. Today, I've decided to re-answer some real questions asked by a co-worker named Sarah. She has told me that it would really embarrass her to see her question on my blog, but I think she'll be a good sport. I've seen my fair share of stupid questions, and Sarah's aren't nearly as dumb, but she'll still get a smart-ass answer when she becomes a part of...

Ask Cam the IT Guy.

Question: Why won't the shares let me in? -Sarah

Answer: Did you try knocking? (Sarah actually came up with this answer herself.)


Question: Hey, it finished #4 of 9 and once #4 finished it prompted me to Install IE8. Should I go through that process now or wait until all the 9 updates finish? -Sarah

Answer: Considering that the rest of the updates won't continue until you run the IE8 install, I would say go ahead.


Question: Chad and Nathan (EMS- in the Vault) cannot connect to CorpNet on their laptops. Can you come take a look? -Sarah

Answer: I was not aware that we had an Emergency Medical Services section in our building.


Question: I had to change my password (normal time expiration) and now my laptop is saying that I need to update my credentials. -Sarah

Answer: Please restate this in the form of a question before sending me a support issue.

Question: I’m having access issues...is anyone available to help me? -Sarah

Answer: That's better. Now, here's your answer. No.


Question: The workstation computer in the Vault (not the front desk) needs a little love. Can you help? -Sarah

Answer: No, I will not cyber with you.


Question: Do you guys know why drop is down? -Sarah

Answer: Yeah, it's called gravitation. It's the natural phenomenon by which objects with mass attract one another.


Question: Can someone help me figure out what action items I need to take from this [security action] message? -Sarah

Answer: Yeah, run the update it says to run.


Question: My phone mysteriously stopped working. Per Doug’s advice I tried powering it on and off but still no luck. Can someone take a look? I get a lot of calls so this is kind of a problem...thanks! -Sarah

Answer: Something tells me that you're not going to have to worry about missing any calls considering that the whole company's communications services are down right now.


Question: Ok, so do you know what alias I can email to have them reset my RAS PIN? Since I can’t RAS in, I can’t look it up! -Sarah

Answer: istupidlyforgotmypin@microsoft.com


Question: I keep getting these spam eCards. My mailbox is filtering them as Junk mail, but still, this is about the 4th one I've seen. Is there any way to stop these? -Sarah

Answer: Yes, there is a way to stop them. Just send them your full name, social security number, date of birth, and credit card numbers, and they will gladly stop e-mailing you. You may lose all your money, but the messages will stop, so it might be worth it.


Question: I am not able to watch YouTube videos from the Vault front desk. I realize this doesn’t sound like a huge issue, but this is actually a work-stoppage issue for me. Customers frequently send me link to MS videos on YouTube that they are interested in ordering, but I cannot view them for some reason. I have tried to install Adobe Flash Player, as it prompts me to, but it will go through the installation then continue to tell me that I have not installed it... can someone help? -Sarah

Answer: I know that this being a "work-stoppage" issue is a lie. You really just miss being able to watch my YouTubesdays.


Question: Tom may need help acquiring some power cords for some funky looking hard drives. Can one of you hard drive whizzes take a look at these and see if we have any way to power them up? -Sarah

Answer: No can do, Sarah. These hard drives are way too "funky looking". What the heck is eSATA? Is that like eMail? You can't send power over messages. I'm sorry, but I don't think this is going to be possible.


Question: Can we set up an OOF for Monday (Memorial Day) for the aliases? I have no idea how to do this. -Sarah

Answer: First off, that is an unacceptable answer to give to your boss. You are supposed to research it and find out. A more acceptable answer would have been, "I do not know how to do this, but I will find out." Even more acceptable would have been, "I am uncertain of how to perform this operation, but I think the master at everything, Cam, would know how. I will ask him and gather extensive knowledge from his massive brain as he is incredibly intellectual."


Question: I’m contacting you under the assumption that you are, what they call, a "computer whiz." I am in need of help procuring "audio" from my "computer." I have obtained some "headphones" from my husband’s rather large store of audio goods, however I seem to be "incapable" of making any noise to come hither forth from said headphones. Might I receive your assistance in this matter? -Sarah

Answer: "No."