REVIEW: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

 There are no spoilers in this review.

PLOT: Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, discovers vampires are planning to take over the United States. He makes it his mission to eliminate them.


THE GOOD: Creative. No, really... Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is pretty darn creative. Albeit, a terrible title. Just as bad as Cowboys & Aliens, but like that film, the concept is quite original. It would seem quite genius to rewrite history in some way. In this case, it's an extreme change in Lincoln's story, but one easily taken advantage of.

LINCOLN: "Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all vampires should sparkle."

Action. Aside from a couple really obvious CG moments, I enjoyed plenty of the action in this film. Director Timur Bekmambetov certainly has a vision when it comes to these set pieces. He directed Wanted back in 2008, which was met with mixed reviews back then. The action generally received positive feedback and I think you'll see the same thing here. There's lots of speed ramping, which I can never get enough of. It's the big reason that I like Zack Snyder films despite all their major flaws.


THE BAD: Screenplay and changes. You may or may not know this, but Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is based on a best-selling book by author Seth Grahame-Smith. Grahame-Smith also writes for TV and film a lot. He wrote for The Hard Times of RJ Berger, a scripted television comedy on MTV, as well as the screenplay for Tim Burton's film earlier this year, Dark Shadows. Grahame-Smith also wrote the adapted screenplay for his Vampire Hunter, which confuses those who have read the book. Now, I've never read it and probably won't, but my wife Bethany has and she is a big fan. From what she has told me, there are some major changes in the movie. This is confusing because the guy who wrote the book also wrote the script, so why should it be any different? There's not much evidence to show the exact reason for the differences, but I imagine it had a lot to do with studio pressure beyond Grahame-Smith's control. His book take factual history from Lincoln's life and twists it to relate to vampires existing. That's what's entertaining about the book--it's like these things could have actually happened. The movie doesn't focus on the historical accuracies as well and it's a real shame because the movie wanted you to take itself so seriously. For example, there's no mention of Lincoln's sister who raised him after his mother died (or in the movie's case, was killed). Even an important fact like Lincoln having four sons is skipped over and dwindled down to just one. Apparently when we get to the time that Lincoln leaves for Ford's Theatre, that seems to be it. Bethany has explained to me that there is a lot more that goes on after his assassination and I wish they made the time to go further. My assumption is that they wished for a sequel, but considering the film's terrible returns at the box office, I doubt we'll get to see it. Seth Grahame-Smith is also the author of another crossover novel, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Like AL: VH, it's exactly what it sounds like. It, too, is being adapted into a feature film by Lionsgate. At one time, Academy Award-nominated director David O. Russell was attached to direct, but has since left due to scheduling conflicts. Since then, the movie has been caught in some sort of limbo. I'm sure we'll see it eventually, but it's going to be a while.

At one point in the film, Lincoln challenges the vampires to a breakdance contest. 

THE END: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter does not live up to its potential and will likely not be the best Lincoln movie this year. Steven Spielberg's biopic of the 16th President will come out around Christmas time and has an incredible cast including Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jared Harris, Tommy Lee Jones, John Hawkes, Sally Field, and Daniel Day-Lewis as Mr. Lincoln. And you know the rule for me, if it's by Spielberg, I'm probably going to like it. You can wait to rent this one if you're extremely curious. Otherwise, just wait for it on cable TV.

DISCUSS: What did you think of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter? Have you read the book? Are you looking forward to Spielberg's Lincoln? What could have made this movie better?

William H. Johnson was a free African-American. He was also Lincoln's slave. Just look at the fear in his face and tell me that he wouldn't rather be picking cotton right now.