REVIEW: Rock of Ages

There are no spoilers in this review. 

PLOT: A small town girl and a city boy meet on the Sunset Strip, while pursuing their Hollywood dreams.


THE GOOD: Fun. Like the Rock of Ages tagline says, this movie is "nothin' but a good time." Rock of Ages only succeeds because it does not take itself seriously. I've never seen the 2006 Chris D'Arienzo comedy rock/jukebox Broadway musical, so I can't speak to its similarity to that, but I can tell you that if you just sit back and let this movie have fun with you, you'll come out enjoying it. Classic rock has always held a special place in my heart. My parents used to listen to a lot of it when I was a youngin growing up in the '80s. And then some of these songs are just so classic and popular that you can't help but recognize all of them. When I started working at Microsoft, I heard a lot of classic rock. Most of my co-workers are in their late-30s, early-40s, so the '80s rock and roll era was right in their prime. Andrew, my most frequent guest host on my podcast, is a huge glam metal rock fan. I've learned to love a lot of other songs and bands that I've never heard of before because of him.

As usual, Tom Cruise hardly sacrifices his trademark manliness that he’s so well-known for these days.

THE BAD: Music. I want to be clear here in saying that I loved the song choices. Great classic songs used during appropriate parts of the film. What I dislike is how much the songs are overproduced and strung out at this point. The originals sound so much better. It's sort of the same problem I have with the TV show Glee. I like plenty of the songs they choose, but I hate hearing the multi-vocal, overdone pop songs sung by these kids. Might as well buy a Kids Bop album. I much prefer the original recordings of the songs. So, instead of downloading the Rock of Ages soundtrack, I plan on downloading all of the original songs used in this film.

Story. The story to Rock of Ages is overly simple at times, and head scratching at other times. Like I said, I've never seen the original musical, but I am aware of many drastic changes that were made for this film adaptation. Since I don't want to spoil anything, I won't venture into specifics. So, I'll just say that the themes and message of the story were really dumbed down for the movie audience. A lot of the more risqué moments were cut back, completely cut out, or even added! For example, Constance Stack (played by Malin Åkerman) does not exists in the musical. Also, the ending is completely different. I find that the musical's ending is far more realistic and effective than the film's.

ALEC BALDWIN: "And this medal here is for getting kicked off an airplane for the tenth time."

Alec Baldwin. The only casting choice that I really didn't like. His performance was just so bad. Terrible.

THE END: Rock of Ages is simply a fun movie. The song choices are fun, the era the film takes place in is fun, and Tom Cruise is fun. Don't expect an instant classic here, especially since none of the songs are original. This is a movie that you watch twice. Once to let it wash over you, and the then again to enjoy the songs. If you are big fan of Glee or more recent jukebox musicals like Mamma Mia or Burlesque, you'll probably like this one. If you are glam metal rock fan, you might also find the soundtrack to this amusing. I saw many adults older than me with big smiles. If you are not one of these people, you can probably wait to rent this one. Rock of Ages will be released wide this Friday.


DISCUSS: What did you think of Rock of Ages? What did you think of Tom Cruise's performance? What was your favorite musical number? Have you seen the original musical? What did you think of the story changes? Who was your least favorite character?

TOM CRUISE: ♪ "I love duuuuuuuuuuuuudes!" ♪